To Save You
by Raising-Hell14
Summary: Piper isn't as selfish as events have made her to seem. When Alex's mother died Piper didn't leave as willingly as it may have appeared. What if she was forced out of her life by forces known and feared. Warning! Rated M for dark themes. AU Evil!Larry if you can't handle please don't read. New chapters are currently in progress
1. Welcome to Litchfield

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Orange is the New Black, if so Alex and Piper never would have broken up.

 **A/N:** So this is a retry at my first Orange is the New Black fanfiction. Just so y'all know this is going to be an AU kind of fiction so Larry is going to be evil. This is your warning up to you if you choose to heed it or not. Anyway let me know what you think.

 **Piper's P.O.V.**

Depressed, miserable, terrible, loveless, fearful, pathetic, worthless, the list seems to go on and on. These are all words that I could use to describe me and my sorry excuse of a life for the past three years. Every single day since I abandoned the love of my life in a hotel room, crying her heart out over the death of her mom. That was the last time I ever had the pleasure of laying eyes of the most breath-taking and gorgeous human being to ever walk the face of the Earth. Alex Vause...that was the day I was forever forced out of her life.

I live with the guilt every single day and honestly I deserve too. She gave me everything I could possibly need and want, took me on trips all over the world, and loved me to the best of her ability. Was it the perfect relationship? Of course not, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world because I knew every day that I was loved and cherished.

In the end what did I give her in return? Absolutely nothing, I was a pathetic excuse for a girlfriend, but by leaving her like I did I thought I was making her life better by making sure she was alive to have one. I realize that it wasn't the perfect plan, but it was my only option.

"Piper! You will fucking look at me when I am talking to you!" Larry shouts as he slaps me across the face. It's sad to say that I'm used to it by now. Almost a year after I left Alex I was terrified to leave my apartment by myself. That's when my best friend Polly introduced me to Larry Bloom. Everything was okay at first I guess. I honestly tried to move on with Larry, but I couldn't even feel a fraction from him of what I felt and still feel for Alex. I tried to let him down easy and that's when the abuse started. It took a few beatings before Larry got cocky and admitted that he was working for the man that completely ruined my life.

"Do your worst it's going to be the last one for the next 15 months anyway." My past with Alex seems to have finally caught up to me. A warrant had been issued for my arrest and I was more than happy to turn myself in if it got me away from Larry. I was sentenced to 15 months in Litchfield's Female Penitentiary.

"Don't talk to me as if we're equals! Don't act like I won't be waiting for you when you get back out. There's no escaping me Piper." Larry says as he punches me hard enough to knock me onto the ground. That's when he starts kicking me right in the ribs. I try to hold back my pain filled sobs because I learned the hard way early on that it will just make him kick me harder.

I swear times like this make me wish that Kubra would just let Larry kill me because then I would finally be able to match how I've felt on the inside since I left Alex. Since Polly is now engaged and no longer has time for me so I haven't talked to her for almost 2-3 weeks. My brother Cal lives in the woods with his wife, my mother and I aren't are speaking terms since I started 'dating' Larry, and my dad and I talk maybe once a month if that.

Ever since the fateful day I had to leave Alex my life has gone from bad to worse to basically a living hell. I can't even bring myself to even try to fight against Larry when he kicks me in the ribs, it's not like I feel the pain anymore. Death at this point couldn't be any worse than my life right now. I don't even know how long Larry continued to beat me while yell at me to look at him before I passed out from the pain in my ribs and stomach.

When I woke up the next morning Larry was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper on his iPad and drinking coffee like he didn't beat me until I blacked out. I force myself to sit up ignoring the burning pain I feel. It's several attempts to stand up before I can limp my way to the bathroom. Larry must have gotten carried away again and moved his way down from my stomach to my leg. I strip as I carefully step into the shower and turn on the water. I try and power through the pain, but I just can't as I slide down to the floor as the steaming water falls onto my aching limbs.

"Piper, hurry up we're going to be late dropping you off. Wouldn't want them issuing another warrant for your arrest would we?" Larry shouts as he starts banging on the bathroom door. I swear my hate for this man grows every single day.

"I'm...I'm coming." I say as I stand up as quickly as I can washing away yesterday's dirt off of myself. I quickly use the bathroom as I limp out wrapped in a towel. I hobble to my closet and gently slide on a loose pair of jeans and a button up shirt. It's too hard for me to even try and lift my arms right now when I don't have too. I slide on a pair of Toms to also avoid having to bend over.

I slowly limp out of the bedroom and meet Larry by the front door where I keep my wallet and ID. "Are you not going to eat something before we leave?" I can see the fake concern shining in his eyes. He gets enjoyment out of pretending like he cares about me when we both know he doesn't, but it's just part of his act.

"I'm not really hungry." I mumble as I unlock the door and walk out waiting for him to follow behind me. I can feel myself on autopilot as I continue my journey to the car feeling Larry close behind me. I luckily don't have to wait long for him to unlock the car door. I collapse into the seat and finally take the weight off my throbbing leg. Once I'm buckled in I lean my head against the window and close my eyes.

We are an hour into our 3 hour drive to Litchfield when Larry decides to finally say something. "When you get to prison don't even bother trying to make friends. Let's be realistic though who would want to be your friend? Also if anybody asks you're my fiancé as I will find out if you say otherwise. Got it?" He asks never taking his eyes off the road.

"Okay," I'm so used to him controlling every single thing I do and insulting while doing it. At this point nothing he does fazes me I've just learned to accept that my life is a living hell.

"I will come visit you as often as I can thankfully I don't have to watch your sorry ass all the time anymore. Maybe I'll even be nice and bring Polly with me sometimes if you behave." I roll my eyes as I turn to look at the scenery outside trying to enjoy it as much as I can. We couldn't get to Litchfield soon enough in my opinion. I can't wait to be away from Larry for a few months. Ever since he entered my life I've felt like a servant, a punching bag, a rag doll and a dog all rolled into one miserable package.

"Okay," I say again as I continue to look out the window. I've learned over time that it's best to agree to whatever he says as short and as sweet as possible. It limits my room for error and my chances of being hit again.

He grunts and lucky for me that's the end of the conversation until we finally arrive. I slowly climb out of the car as I feel the leg that Larry damaged almost give out. I was able to stabilize myself at the last minute before I face planted the ground. I sigh as I start my slow track to the Welcome to Litchfield entrance. As we get closer and closer to the door and the temporary end to my freedom in the outside world, it's also the beginning of my freedom from Larry and the man who ruined my life. Of course I'm not stupid enough to believe that he can't get to me while I'm in here especially if he could get to me from the other side of the world.

As we reach the entrance Larry holds the door open for me. Simply putting on a show for anybody who might be watching; I walk to the front desk and sign in. After I'm done I slowly walk over to Larry trying hard to hide my limp.

I didn't even have time to consider sitting down before they were calling me back. I feel Larry grab my arm and force me into an unbearable hug. He whispers in my ear too soft for anybody around us to her," remember what I said in the car Piper. You'll never be free from us even if you are behind bars." He says before he pecks me on the lips and pushes me towards the guard.

After I walk away I don't even know what happened from that point on. Nothing the guards said really registered in my mind, but I did whatever they asked regardless. I went through my mugshots, giving them all of the possessions I had on me including my clothes, showering, inspection, and finally I'm given the standard orange jumpsuit to change into. I'm glad nobody asked me about any of my bruises. I'm too exhausted to even bother trying to come up with a somewhat believable lie.

Before I know it I'm sitting in the back of a van next to a guard with another one prisoner sitting in the drivers sit. "Well hello there cutie I'm Lorna Morello. What's your name?" I look into the rearview mirror and see a woman with bright red lipstick wearing a beige uniform. She must be an inmate too.

"Piper Chapman," I say as I turn to look about out the window.

"Well Piper Chapman you're going to enjoy Litchfield. I mean it is prison, but hey it could be a whole lot worse. We have a pretty good library, and all the girls are really nice as long as you don't do or say anything to insult them. Also heads up no matter what never talk back about the food. Red will take great offense to it." She keeps rambling on and on for the rest of the drive which lucky for me was only about 10 minutes.

The guard waits for the van to come to a stop before she opens the door and hops out and waits for me to follow. Before I know it I'm standing next to Lorna as we walk into Litchfield. She's quick to show me where I'm going to temporarily be sleeping until I get a more permanent sleeping quarters. I don't bother saying anything to the rest of the girls I simply put all of my stuff on my bunk as I slowly and gently as I climb up to lie down.

I lie there for a few minutes before I hear everybody in my room get up and leave. I don't bother moving to see where they're going. I again don't bother moving when I hear footsteps approaching me. "Are you coming to lunch?" Lorna asks me. I don't have to turn around to know it's her after her rambling I would recognize her nasally voice anywhere.

"I'm not hungry." I say still facing the wall.

"I'm sure you must be hungry by now. Also I bought you a toothbrush and some toothpaste. There's also a few other toiletries to help you get through the first few days." I feel her place it on the bunk next to the rest of my stuff.

"I'm not hungry." I say repeating myself. I'm really hoping she gets the hint that I'm not interested in leaving where I am right now.

"Please? I promise if you come eat now I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day." I can already tell that she's going to be a problem while I say here. She doesn't seem like the type of girl that takes no for an answer.

I sigh as I sit up slowly and look at her. "Fine," I slowly swing my legs over the side and look down. Getting down is going to hurt more than it did getting up.

I take a deep breath as I hop down as try and soften the fall as much as I can. I land on all four which wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't felt my shirt ride up and expose all my bruises. I could have fooled myself into believing that Lorna hadn't seen them if I hadn't heard her gasp. "Are you okay, Chapman?" She says as she rushes to my side.

"I'm fine," I say through grit teeth. The last thing I need is for her to start worrying about me. That'll make keeping her away that much harder.

"You should go to the infirmary and have somebody check you out. What if something's broken or you're bleeding on the inside." I have to cut her off there as I stand up and dust off my hands.

"I said I'm fine Morella! Can we just go to lunch so you can hold up to your end of the deal?" I ask as I start to slowly walk towards the cafeteria. It doesn't take long for Morella too caught up to me.

"Chapman, you should really have that checked out." She says even though she should know by now that it will fall on deaf ears.

"Leave it." I say as we finally arrive in the cafeteria.

"Okay, if you're sure." She says as she heads over to a table with filled with people who must be her friends. There's a girl with bushy brown hair. She looks like she's done drugs before. I move to the woman sitting across from her. She looks really burly with random tattoos going down one of her arms. Then next to her is a woman with jet black hair that curls at the ends like Alex's used too.

I don't know how long I'm standing there staring at the woman before I feel eyes on me and see that the rest of the table is looking at me. I look at the mystery woman with black and see the same stunning green eyes that captured my heart so many years ago. I feel all the breath leave my body as we both continue to stare each other down. Only when she makes a move to stand up to I remember why I left all those years ago.

As quick as I can I turn and rush out of the cafeteria not even sparing a second glance. I would like to amend what I said earlier. Being in prison is going to be far worse than being on the outside with Larry.

 **A/N 2:** I'll be going through the chapters redoing them before I start uploading new chapters. Let me know what y'all think of the edits.


	2. Let Me Help

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Orange is the New Black because if I did Alex and Piper would stop fucking with my damn emotions!

 **A/N:** I've learned from my mistakes in the past when it comes to writing chapter fics. This time I'm going to stay ahead by writing several chapters in advance.

 **Alex's P.O.V.**

I was sitting at my usual table with Nicky and Big Boo waiting for Lorna to join us. Nicky's trying to be subtle, but we all know that she won't eat until Lorna gets here. It's almost sad how painfully whipped that girl is not that I have much room to talk.

"Finally, I never thought you would get here." Nicky sighs as Lorna takes her sit next to her. "What took you so long, babe?" Nicky asks.

"I'm sorry. I was trying to help out the new girl. I think something's really wrong with her. I had to practically beg her to come to lunch, and she looks like she hasn't eaten in awhile." Lorna says in her usual nasal tone.

"Maybe the fact that she's in prison caught up to her." I say trying to make a joke.

"I think she's been abused." Lorna says frowning. Wow these must be serious if it's making her this upset.

"How would you know that?" I ask actually interested. Lorna's always nice, but she never gets really invested in the new prisoners outside of special cases.

"Wait, is it the blonde chick standing in the doorway staring at us?" Big Boo asks from beside me. I turn around to see who she's talking too and I feel my breath catch in my throat.

It's been over three eyes since I've seen her and even though she looks paler and less healthy than usual she is still the most gorgeous human being I've ever seen. "Piper…..." I whisper.

"You know that chick?" Boo asks me as I answer her by simply nodding my head. I never take my eyes off of Piper as we stare each other down.

Piper and I are still having a stare down when I feel myself starting to stand up. Our moment is over when I see fear flash across her face before she turns around and as quickly as she can limps away never sparing me another glance.

I sit back down heavily in my sit as I continue to look at the door that my love just left through. "Alex, are you okay? How do you already know the new girl?" I hear Nicky ask sounding concerned about my unusual behavior.

"That's Piper, I told you about her. She's the one who left me in Paris when my mom died." I say never looking away from the door.

"Wow, that girl didn't look like the bitch you described." Boo says and I growl. How dare she call Piper that she doesn't even know her!

"She is not a bitch! Don't you dare call her that!" I shout finally looking away from the door. I growl as I turn to glare Boo down.

"Woah calm down I'm sorry. What I meant to say was that girl doesn't look like the loving and vibrant girl you described to us. She looked defeated and a bit unhealthy like she hasn't eaten in a while. I wonder what happened to her." I'm honestly wondering the same thing until something Lorna says registers in my mind again.

"What did you mean when you said she looks like she's been abused?" I ask her quickly. I didn't fail to notice the limp Piper had on the way out.

"Well as you saw when she walked away she's limping. She barely says more than a few words at a time. She's very stand-offish as though she's keeping everybody at a distance." I nod silently as I wait for her to tell me more.

"That doesn't mean she's been abused Lorna. Some people are just not interested in being social and she could be anorexic." Nicky says cutting Lorna off.

"That's not the Piper I know and love. Piper has always been a people person and she loves food way too much to willingly give it up without a reason." I say quickly defending Piper even though she left me.

"If you would have let me finish I was going to say that after I finally got her to agree to come to lunch she hopped off the top bunk and landed kind of hard causing her shirt to ride up. The whole right side of her torso and stomach are almost black with bruises, and when I tried to help her up she flinched away from me as if I was going to hurt her." I hold my breath as Lorna finishes trying to fight back the tears I feel starting to well up.

"Are you sure?" I whisper praying she is lying to me. What the hell happened after Piper left me in Paris?

"I am telling you that poor woman has been abused for who knows how long. If I had to guess I would say that it's been at least a year maybe two. She seems way too closed off and unwilling to accept help for this to be recent. " Lorna says giving a sad look.

"Why is she even here in the first place? If she left you 3 years ago who would have ratted her out?" Nicky asks even though I think she knows the answer to that.

"I was me. I turned her in." I whisper feeling like the biggest bitch in the world right now. I need to find Piper.

"I didn't take you for a snitch Vause." Boo says trying to joke, but also giving me the side eye at the same time.

"I was anger okay? It's not like I'm proud of it or anything, and clearly it's too late to take it back, but I also got time off my bid for every name I gave." I say feeling anger well up in my chest at Boo but mostly at myself.

"Again calm down. I was just saying. Besides shouldn't you be running after her like they do in those sappy love movies?" That is painfully cliché but she's right I should really go after her. We need to talk.

"You would be correct. Bye," I say over my shoulder as I quickly walk out of the cafeteria as I quickly rush after Piper.

I'm already out of the cafeteria and halfway down the corridor before I realize I have absolutely no idea where to find her. I decide to head back to the bunks and hop she decided to go lie back down. I quickly make my way there and searched every bunk to no avail. She wasn't there. I sigh as I start back towards the cafeteria and remember how much Piper loved books, and how much libraries used to calm her.

I quickly take off towards the library hoping and praying that she is there. I need to see her and make sure she is okay. I bust through the library doors glad that Taystee and her sidekick Poussey weren't in here and still at lunch.

I scan row after row of books, and realize she isn't in any of them. I was about to give up when I noticed a blonde figure curled up in one of the only chairs facing the windows. I can't help but smile as I slowly approach her.

"It's good to know that some things never change even after all this time." I whisper trying not to startle her. I take the seat next to her and follow her line of sight.

We sit there in silence neither of us saying anything. Honestly I don't even know what to say to her right now, but I need her to say something. I turn and carefully study her face. She looks exhausted and like she hasn't eaten a good meal in a while. Boo was right she looks so defeated and just completely done with life.

"What happened to you, kid?" I whisper as I lift my hand to run my fingers through my hair. I stop as I see Piper flinch away from me. I can't help but feel hurt by that. "Who hurt you?" I whisper softly enough that she doesn't hear me.

"It doesn't matter." She sounds defeated too as she doesn't even bother to look at me. How can she say that it doesn't matter?

"It matters to me dammit!" I shout and watch her flinch away from me again but more violently this time. I also notice as she grabs her side releasing a groan of pain. Note to self: Avoid yelling when around or talking to Piper.

"Alex, please just stop." She whispers trying and failing to keep a tremble out of her voice. What the hell happened to her?

"Stop what Piper? Stop talking to you? Asking you questions? What it is that you want me to stop doing exactly?" I ask her trying not to let my temper get the best of me. Yelling at her isn't going to get me the answers I want and need.

"Caring," she says finally looking at me and it takes everything in me not to cry. I can see the light that used to shine bring in her carefree blue eyes has been completely snuffed out. It breaks my heart even more.

"I can't do that Piper I've tried, trust me I have, but I just can't." I say as I keep our eyes locked. I can see that's not the answer she was looking for.

"Try again, try harder" she whispers as she looks away and back towards the window. This isn't the Piper I fell in love with all those years ago.

"Piper! It's not that simple. I've tried to stop caring about you after you just up and left me when I needed you. Hell I'm the one who throw you under the bus and landed you in here. I spent the first year after my mom's death trying so hard to hate you, but I just couldn't! You wormed your way into my heart and stalked your claim. So I don't care what you try to do or say, one way or another you're going to tell me what happened to you, to us." I finish taking a deep breath satisfied about what I said.

I watch as Piper slowly turns her head to look at me, but even then it's more like she's looking through me rather than at me. I really want to know what happened to the girl who was and still is the center of my world. I focus on her eyes and see the struggle within them. I watch her mouth open and close as if she wants to say something, but isn't quite sure how. "Alex….." she sighs. I never realized until now just how much I missed the way she says my name. It sounds beautiful as it rolls off her tongue so effortlessly.

"Yeah kid?" I whisper sounding hopeful even though I know I shouldn't. Piper is one of the most stubborn people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

"I need you to leave me alone. The reason I left you alone three years ago is the same reason I need you to leave me alone now. My life outside of these walls was rough not that prison is all that great now that I think about it, but hey it's a step up I guess." Piper says trying to brush everything off, but she seems to have forgotten that I know her way better than that.

"Please tell me what happened to you Pipes. Lorna says you've been abused. Is that true? Please let me help you." I practically beg her.

"Alex, you can help me by leaving this alone. It's better that way." She says as we stare at each other for a little while longer before she slowly stands and tries to walk away without limping. I just sit there as I watch her go like I did all those years ago. If there's one thing I know about Piper that hasn't changed is that once her mind is made up there is no changing it no matter what is said or done, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try.

I made the worst mistake of my life when I allowed Piper to just walk out of my life all those years ago and I'll be damned if I make the same mistake this time around. I just wish I could get her to talk to me. What did she mean when she said being in here is better than being on the outside? What in her life could have possibly been that bad to make her think that?

I sigh as I stand up and run my fingers through my hair again. I don't know what to do because clearly Piper isn't going to talk to me about this. I need to talk to Nicky, Big Boo, Lorna, and hopefully Red. I'm sure they will have some advice for me because I can't just drop this. Piper clearly needs help and I'm not going to just leave her to deal with this by herself.

I walk back to the kitchen in search of Red first. She and I don't have the same close relationship that she has with Nicky, but I know I can still go talk to her about things. I'm hoping I can get her to talk to Piper.

I arrive in the cafeteria in a matter of minutes and walk back to the kitchen where Red usually is either cleaning up from lunch or planning the next meal. "Hey Red, I ummm…...I need to ask you something." I say as I walk into the kitchen and she her getting ingredients ready for dinner.

"What can I help you with?" She asks me in her thick Russian accent.

"It's about Piper..." She cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.

"Nicky told me that she's here, and what Lorna said about her being abused. I'm going to guess that you tried talking to her and she shut you down, no?" Red asks finally looking at me.

"Pretty much, and Lorna's right she has been abused. I lifted my hand to run my fingers through my hair and she flinched away like I was going to hit her. She did the same thing when I raised my voice. I think she was afraid because she thought I was about to hurt her. Red, I don't know what to do. She won't talk to me because she says it's best if I stopped caring about her, but I can't do that. I don't know what to do!" I rant as I start pacing the area between the kitchen entrance and the freezer.

"Would you like me to talk to her?" Red asks me as she follows my pacing with her eyes.

"Would you? I really just want to know for sure that she's okay more than anything. She's changed so much since the last time I saw her and it isn't for the better." I say as I finally come to a stop in front of Red frowning.

"If it stops you from rambling I will talk to her. Now get out of my kitchen I have work to do." Red says as she goes back to getting food ready for dinner tonight.

I leave the kitchen smiling. I'm sure if anybody can get through to Piper it would be Red she just has a way of getting information out of people whether they want to tell her or not. I go in search of Nicky and Lorna because with those two they always seem to be a package deal. I know they're going to want to know how my talk with Piper went and maybe they'll have some words of wisdom to offer me to tide me over until Red has a chance to talk to Piper. More than anything I just hope Piper is okay.

 **A/N 2:** So I'll be honest once I finish edited this chapters I have no clue where the hell I'm going to go with this story, but hey that's have the fun! Making shit up as I go! Woo!


	3. Come Eat

**Disclaimer:** I don't know Orange is the New Black and I never will. But that's okay because at least when I write I can bend the characters to my will!

 **A/N:** So I have no clue how long I'm going to make this story, but just stick with me. I like happy endings so we'll get there eventually.

 **Piper's P.O.V.**

I'm lying back down on my bunk facing the wall again hoping everybody will just leave me alone. I felt terrible for leaving Alex like I did when she only wanted to help me, but I just can't let her. I want her to, god do I want to, but I didn't spend the last three years in hell to ruin it in less than an hour of being in Alex's presence again. I would love nothing more than to unload my heavy heart and tell her every single thing that went wrong in my life starting with leaving her, but I can't put her in that kind of danger.

I sigh as I close my eyes and try to catch a little sleep because if I remember Alex as well as I think I do I know she isn't going to let this go. I'm sure she's going to talk one of her friends into trying to get me to open up which I love her for. Really I do, but she needs to learn when to leave well enough alone and just admit defeat. She can't save me because it's already too late. There's honestly nothing left of me to save or at least nothing of me that she used to love. All I have left from those happy times are the memories I constantly replay in my mind to keep me going.

"Are you they one they call Chapman?" I hear a thick Russian accent ask from behind me. Alex works faster than I thought she would.

I slowly sit up and look to see a heavier set apparently Russian woman with spiky red hair. "Yes," I whisper as I continue to stare at her confused as to whom she is.

"I'm a friend of the crazy black haired girl, Vause. I am also the cook for the prison." She says as she leans against the entrance to my bunk with her arms crossed.

"Oh so you're Red," I whisper more to myself not intending to say it loud enough for her to actually hear me.

"So you've heard about me." She says with a knowing smile.

"Lorna," is all I say as I sit up all the way and cross my legs Indian style. I really don't know what she wants or why she's here, but she seems to be okay I guess.

"Ah she gave you the usual warning when she drove you in. Now let's get to the reason why I am here. Is it true what she has been saying? Do you have bruises?" She asks staring me down. Her graze is very intense and I can't help but flinch back a little bit.

"No," I whisper knowing she can see right through my lie. I can see that this woman's also going to be a problem. I can see having real issues saying no to her.

"Liar! Tell me the truth." She says as her accent gets thicker a clear sign that she's starting to get angry.

"Why do you even care?" I ask honestly wanting to know why she is so concerned with me.

"Chalk it up to me being nosey if you would like. Now tell me the truth. Have you been abused?" She says calming down.

"I have bruises on my ribs and stomach yes, but I feel down the stairs the night before I came in. Nothing major." I really hope she believe my terrible lie, but by the look on her face I can see she doesn't.

"We both know that's a lie, but I am not going to make you tell me the truth if you do not want. Would you like some food? You look like a twig ready to snap." Red says so nonchalantly.

"I'm not hungry." My stomach decides to betray me at the exact moment. I hang my head as I get caught in another lie by Red.

"Come with me to the kitchen. You need food." Red says as she stands up from her leaning position.

"Really I'm not hungry." Again my stomach chooses that moment to growl again. Traitor….

"What are you worried about? It's not like I'm going to poison you." Red says and now that she says that I actually am kind of afraid she's going to poison me. I don't know who to trust in here so I'm just not going to trust anybody.

"I don't trust you so as far as I know you might actually poison me." I say simple enough. I watch as she slowly nods her head.

"Fair enough, but that's because you don't know me. If it makes you feel better I will let you watch me make you a sandwich." Red doesn't seem like the type of person to allow somebody new into her space.

"I don't know." I whisper as I try to weigh my options. Either I never eat and starve to death or I let her make me a sandwich this one time.

"Just come on. We are going to get you fed even if I have to force it down your tiny throat." Red says as she stands there waiting for me.

I sigh as I realize she isn't going to leave this alone. "Fine, but can you please keep Alex away from me? I don't know how to talk to her right now without hurting her." I gently work my way to the edge of the bed and take a deep breath as I hop down. Again I land on my hands and knees trying to soften the blow. I hear Red gasp just like Lorna did as I feel my shirt rides up again.

"Why did the guards not take you to the infirmary after they were finished processing you?" Red asks as she grabs my arm helping me up.

"They never said anything about them so neither did I." I painfully grunt out as I feel her hand press on my side right over my rib.

"You should go in case something is wrong." Red says as she tries to pull my shirt up higher to examine the damage. I quickly grab her hand to stop her.

"I'm fine. It's nothing I haven't dealt with before." I say before I have time to stop myself. Great I just gave her more information to give Alex later.

"How often do you fall down the stairs?" Red says as she removes her hands and stands up. I look up to see her giving me a knowing look.

"More often than I would like to admit," I say as Red shakes her head at me in disapproval not that I care but at the same time I do a little bit.

"Okay, now let's go get you some food before you waste away." Red says decided to let this go for the time being.

"Okay," is all she gives me time to say as she heads out into the corridor expecting me to follow her. I know I shouldn't, but I do need to eat.

"You know you won't survive in this place without having some friends to watch your back." Red says simply as we turn the corner halfway to the kitchen.

"I don't need friends, and I don't need anybody to watch my back." I reply not giving her much to work with.

"You're in prison. Everybody needs at least one friend in prison." Red says trying to reason with me.

"Not me," I really hope she gets the hint that I don't want to have this conversation with her now or ever.

"Even you need somebody even if you're not willing to admit it right now." Red says as we finally arrive in the kitchen luckily without running into Alex along the way.

"I don't," I prefer to keep my answers short in order to prevent her from collecting too much information about me.

"What makes you think that you're the exception to this?" Red asks me as I watch her make me a sandwich. I want to believe she wouldn't poison me, but my faith in the world as a whole has been lost. She quickly finishes and hands me my sandwich.

"Because I am," I say as I start to devour my sandwich in no time.

"No you're not! You have no idea what it means to be in prison. You're eventually going to get lonely without somebody on your side." Red says trying to reason with me as if she knows anything about my life.

"I've basically been by myself for the past three years! I didn't have anybody to protect me then so what different is 15 months really going to make here?!" I ask starting to get angry with her.

"What do you mean you've been alone for the past three years?" I feel all of the anger leave my body as soon as I hear that voice….Alex. I clinch my hands and sigh. She wasn't supposed to hear that.

"I need to go." I glance at Red and quickly start to make me back to my bunk. I only make it a few steps before Alex is in my path blocking my exit.

"Piper, what in the hell is going on?" I can hear the pain and confusion in her voice, and it's going to kill me to have to keep walking away from her.

"Nothing, now please leave me alone." I say as I try to walk around her. Again she blocks my exit.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." I really wish that for once she would listen to me. I sigh as I look to Red pleading with my eyes for her to step in just this once and help me. Thankful she notices and helps me out.

"Alex, let her leave," Red says addressing Alex sternly.

"I just want answers!" Alex yells and I quickly flinched away from her. I really hope neither of them noticed.

"I do not like having to repeat myself." I can hear her accent getting thicker with anger.

I watch as Alex looks at me one last time before she sighs and moves out of my way. I waste no time as I quickly walk back to my bunk feeling terrible for having to leave Alex again. That just seems to be the theme of my life.

 **Alex's P.O.V.**

I can do nothing as I watch Piper walk away from me again. I quickly turn on Red when Piper is out of my sight. "You're not going to get anything done by forcing her to talk to you?" Red says as she crosses her arms and leans against the counter.

"Well she isn't going to talk to me willingly so what do you expect me to do?" I honestly don't know what to do here. I just want to talk to her, but last time she would go from the shortest answers ever to a longer sentences and then she just up and walked out without really telling me anything helpful.

"I expect you to back off and let me see if I can get her to open up a little bit." Red says letting me know that I don't really have a choice in the matter.

"I just want to help her. I know something is wrong, but she is literally giving me nothing to work with." I sigh completely frustrated with the whole situation.

"You said you talked to her easier. How did that go exactly?" Red asks decided to switch topics back to what we talked about earlier.

"It didn't go quite how I expected. I told her that I'm the reason she's here, and she sounded thankful. She doesn't like loud noises based on how she flinches when I raise my voice. I've concluded that somebody has been hurting her." I feel my heart ache at the thought of somebody hurting my sweet and innocent Piper.

"I saw the bruises, Lorna was right they are pretty bad. She claims she fell down some stairs and it has happened more than she would like to admit. I don't know what exactly has happened to her, but whatever it is must have been bad. Do you trust me?" Red asks.

"Yes," I say realizing that Red is probably going to be my only option if I'm ever going to get Piper to talk to me.

"Good. Then you need to back off and let me see what I can do. Just give me some time to work up a bit of trust with the too thin blonde girl, but until then you need to stay out of my way. Understand?" I silently nod my head realizing she's right. Piper isn't going to open up around me, and Red is my last hope.

"I understand. As long as you help her I will do whatever I have to." I say meaning every single word.

"You still really love her don't you?" Red asks as she looks me dead in the eye.

"With all my heart," I say not backing down from Red's intense stare.

"Keep that in mind because this is going to get worse before it gets better." Red asks as she quickly waves me off signally that our conversation is over and that it was time for me to leave.

I quickly leave thinking about everything that just happened. I don't enjoy the fact that Piper refuses to talk to me, but Red is right. If anybody has a shot of getting her to open up it's Red.

 **A/N 2:** Please forgive me if this isn't my best writing. I'm still trying to work out how I want the characters to be portrayed.


	4. Panic

**Disclaimer:** I don't own and I never will, but I wish I did because I'm damn tired of this people fucking with my emotions. I don't care if Alex and Piper are canon they still need to be a thing!

 **A/N:** I want to make it clear that the point of this story is for the characters to act different than in the show. That's the point of fanfiction and Alternate Universe keep up people. Also heads up this chapter will be kind of intense. **Evil Larry/ mentions of rape warning!**

 **Piper's P.O.V.**

There are no windows in my bunk cell, but I can feel the darkness creeping in from the outside. Night is the worst time for me because I have learned over time that darkness is a friend that has betrayed me time and time again.

I remember a time when I couldn't wait for the sun to fall out of the sky and for the moon to take its place. I remember times that Alex and I absolutely refused leave our hotel room until it was dark. Any of our friends who know that would always call us vampires. I miss those days...Now I'm afraid of the dark. Bad things happen when my new friend the sun leaves and darkness rises claiming all unlucky enough to be in its presence.

I curl myself into a tight ball as I try not to allow the memories to take over as the night carries on. I wish I could go find Alex…...she would know how to make me feel better, but I can't…...I always have to make sure I keep that in mind. I have to keep her safe.

I remember back to the very first night that my old friend first started its betrayal.

 _Flashback_

 _I had known Larry for almost 3 months now and we were honestly going nowhere, but I continued to date him because Polly kept telling me what a good guy he was. I realized there was no chance of ever seeing Alex again so I might as well try to move on with somebody else. I knew it was never possible to get over Alex, but I was willing to give it a shot._

 _I had just gone on another date with Larry and again he was trying to subtly hint that he wanted tonight to go further than just dinner and a movie. This had been happening a lot lately and I just not ready for that. It's been over a year since I last saw Alex and have had sex. I just don't feel that desire towards anybody like I had for Alex. For her I was always willing and ready, but now I just don't feel that attraction towards anybody anymore._

 _After our date Larry was walking me to my apartment when he again hints about what he really wants. "So Piper I was wondering if I could come inside for a cup of coffee or a movie perhaps?" He is as slick as sandpaper I swear he has absolutely no game._

" _Larry I told you I'm not interested in having sex with you so soon. We hardly even know each other!" I say feeling exhausted by all of his attempts. The way Polly talked about him I would think he would be able to get the fucking hint._

" _I don't understand why not! We've been dating for 3 months already! What exactly are you holding out for? What are you a prude or something?" Larry says starting to get angry. This is why I didn't bother dating for so long. I didn't want to deal with some hormonal dude who just doesn't understand me._

" _Why do I have to be a prude to not want to have sex with you Larry? Maybe I just don't like you in that way!" I say straining to keep my voice down as to not draw attention from my neighbors._

" _Oh you don't like me that way but you're willing to let me buy you dinner and go out with me? You are such a bitch!" Larry shouts as starts getting into my personal space. I can see that this isn't going to end amicable like I had hoped._

" _I was simply trying to give you a chance because Polly asked me too. Clearly that was a mistake!" I say as I quickly unlock my door to swiftly enter and slam the door in Larry's face, but those nerd sweaters he wears are very deceiving._

" _I'm about to show you how big of a mistake you just made bitch." Larry basically growls as he forces his way into my apartment._

 _I quickly feel fear creep up my spine, but since I've felt fear like this almost every day for the past year I know I don't have time to freeze. As fast as I can in the dark I run to my bedroom and lock myself in hoping Larry leaves. Of course I have no such luck as he in a matter of minutes figures out where I am and starts trying to kick my door down._

" _Larry, please leave me alone." I shout trying not to break out into tears. I can only hope that one of my neighbors hear and call the police._

" _I'm not leaving until I get what I want bitch!" He yells through the door as I start hearing the door start to give way._

 _I start to panic as I try to look for another place to hide. I spot my bathroom and quickly try to lock myself in, but Larry was able to kick my door in before I could make it. I don't even have time to process what's happening when I feel his fist connect with the back of my head knocking me to the floor._

 _I'm so dazed that I didn't even feel him forcing me onto my bed. I force my body to react and try and fight him. I was able to land a few good hits to his face, but he quickly puts that to a stop as he pins my arms over my head. I feel his fist connect with my face over and over and over again. I honestly think his is going to kill me as I feel myself fading away. Just before I pass out he stops hitting me and starts unzipping my skirt. I don't have the strength to fight him off anymore so I just give up._

 _I have come to realize that there's no chance of me escaping this so I decide to just lie there and wait until he's done. I have no fight left in me. In all honesty I hope that he kills me when he's done because I have no reason to live anymore. I hiss in pain as he forces himself inside me for the first time…_

I quickly sit up in my bunk and grab my chest. I feel like my heart is going to burst through my ribcage as I feel fear consume my entire being. I pull my knees into my chest, ignoring the pain in my side, as I feel myself starting to have a panic attack.

"Hey Chapman, are you okay?" I hear an unfamiliar voice ask me as I feel myself starting to hyperventilate. I start to panic even more as I hear even more unfamiliar voices starting to sound around me.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" I hear another voice ask. I pull my knees closer to my chest as I start to have tunnel vision.

"Is she going to die?" I then hear and bunch of different voices starting to talk over one another and I feel myself starting to give into the tunnel vision as all the voices turn to into white noise in the background.

I don't know what happened next but I could feel somebody pulling me off my bunk before I saw a bright white light as I passed out.

 **The Next Day**

I groan as I slowly feel myself come too. I can hear doctors talking about something in the background, but I don't really pay attention to that as I feel movement next to me.

"It is time for you to wake up you little blonde trouble maker." That couldn't be anybody else but Red.

I groan again as I slowly open my eyes as I start to sit up. "What happened?" I groan as I slowly run my fingers through my hair.

"You had a panic attack and woke everybody up. One of the guards brought you here after you passed out." Red says as she watches me like a hawk.

"What time is it and why are you here?" I didn't mean for the last question to sound rude, but I honestly wanted to know why she was just sitting there watching me.

"It's almost 10 in the morning, and I claim several girls in this prison as my daughters. They allow me special privileges if and when one of them ends up here. That is why I've been in here all night with you making sure you were okay and not alone." Woah she's been in here all night.

"You didn't have to do that." I say trying to brush her off. I really don't want to get too attached to anybody here.

"I know I didn't have to but I wanted too. As I said yesterday you need somebody in here and I'm going to be that person whether you like it or not." I nod silently decided not to argue with her since she spent the night watching over me.

"Thank you," I mumble trying to show that I appreciate what she did because if she was here then that means she wasn't in the kitchen for breakfast.

"You're welcome. Now let's go get you something to eat." She stands up patting my thigh as a way to tell me to follow her.

"But what about the doctors? Don't I have to be cleared by one of them first?" I ask as I look at the doctors I heard still standing around talking.

"What about them? You had a panic attack not a heart attack you are free to leave as soon as you wake up. Now let's go get you something to eat." Red says as she starts walking out expecting me to follow.

I sigh as I realize I have no choice in the matter and just do what she said. Besides she's just going to make me a sandwich she never said I had to talk to her about anything so I don't see any harm right now. Larry said don't make friends and technically Red never called herself my mother not my friend. So really I'm not going against what he said. I say justifying everything in my mind.

 **A/N 2:** So I know this chapter was shorter but it was one of the most difficult chapters for me to write. This story is very personal and close to my heart so it's more difficult for me to write, but as a form of therapy I'm using this story. Let me know what y'all think so far.


	5. Lonely

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Orange is the New Black if so Vausemen would never break up because they're awesome together.

 **A/N:** I'm too nice because one comment and I've been dragged back into doing this story. I, of course made some changes because my writing has changed since I started this story, and it's always my goal to make my stories as good as I possibly can.

 **Red's P.O.V.**

It's been about a week since Chapman showed up at Litchfield slowly but surely she's starting to become more and more comfortable around me. She's not ready to talk to me about anything, but she's more willing to come to the kitchen for a sandwich twice a day. She's not ready to eat with the other inmates but I'm not going to push her just yet.

Ever since the panic attack Alex has been coming into the kitchen everyday asking for an update on Chapman and how I think she's doing. As Alex promised she has stayed away from Piper as much as she could, but sometimes she couldn't resist walking past her bunk to check on her. She admitted to me when I saw her looking rather guilty when I asked her if she was keeping her distance, though I really can't blame her. Alex is really in love with that girl it's almost sad.

I'm still no closer to truly figuring out what has happened to Piper to cause all of her bruises and apparently scars too. I was able to convince her once to lift up her orange shirt and let me take a look at her bruises. Just as she said they are slowly, but surely starting to heal themselves rather nicely. I also took a closer look and saw that she had scars along her stomach and back some looked newer than others and some looked deeper than others.

"Hi Red," Chapman practically whispers as she walks into the kitchen for her usual sandwich between breakfast and lunch.

"Hello Piper," I made sure to remember her name since she doesn't really like being referred to as Chapman.

"How are you today?" She asks trying to make her usual small talk. I've noticed that she's trying to make more of an effort to talk.

"Same as usual nothing too exciting has happened so far. What about you?" I ask as I start fixing her the usual sandwich just how she likes it.

"I'm finally getting assigned a permanent bunk and being given my beige uniform so I'll be able to fit in more." Piper says sounding really excited over something so small.

"Well that sounds exciting," I say trying not to sound exasperated mostly because I've been in here for a while so I don't really understand the excitement.

"Thank you," she almost whispers as I hand her the sandwich I just finished making her. I paid attention to movements as I saw her take the first bite out of her sandwich. She looked as though she was trying to debate something internally. I can also see the bags under her eyes. She hasn't been sleeping.

I stand there continuing to watch her trying to decide if I should try to push her a little bit today and see if she's willing to tell me what's on her mind. "You know you're the first person to be genuinely nice to me in the past two years." Piper says taking another bite out of her sandwich as if she never said anything.

I take a minute to process what Piper just told me. This is the first time she's made an attempt to open up to me and I don't want to say anything to upset her so I'm going to let her lead the conversation for the most part. "Did you not have good friends? What about you parents? Surely they're nice to you." I might have been pushing it with the second question.

"Umm...my friends and I kind of drifted apart in the past few years, and my parents and I aren't on the best terms right now either." By how withdrawn she is her answer doesn't really surprise me.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but parents should always be there for their children no matter what has happened between all of you." I think about my three sons and how I still call them every chance I get.

"It's not really that big of a deal my mom is a wasp so she and I haven't had a good relationship in a while. She didn't support some of the choices I made in life so she decided it was best to keep her distance as to not ruin her reputation." I can hear how sad just thinking about that makes her.

"Her reputation should never come before her child. She's your mother and should damn well act like it." I can hear my Russian accent coming out more as I feel myself starting to get angry at a woman I have never met and honestly have no desire to meet.

"It's not my mother that really bothers because honestly she's been this way my entire life so I wouldn't expect anything else from her. What bothers me is my father. He and I have always been close but in the past few years I don't know what happened but he and I don't talk anymore. Honestly unless my brother Cal told him I don't even know for sure if he knows that I'm in prison." I hear her voice start to crack as a few tears fall, but she is quick to wipe them away.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, but at the end of the day that's his loss." She still looks like she wants to cry the longer she thinks about her father. "How about tonight instead of making you a sandwich I make you something different tonight? Maybe something that actually involves the stove for a change."

Piper stares at me intensely for a few moments trying to make a decision. I watch as she opens and closes her mouth a few times still trying to figure out her answer. I knew she wouldn't trust me so quickly even though she did just open up about her parents though that might not have been a big secret. I'm sure she and Nicky would bond.

After a few more minutes of watching her trying and failing to decide I add in, "I promise you can watch me while I cook, okay?" I'm hoping that will convince her to trust me a little bit. Has somebody tried to poison her before?

"Umm sure...I guess, but you know you don't have to right?" She gets quieter as the sentence comes to an end.

"I never have to do anything I don't want to Piper. Keep that in mind. Now I want to cook you dinner and you're going to let me. This is no longer up for discussion." I say with a faint smile.

"Okay Red," she says quietly as she starts to head either to see her counselor or back to her bunk to hopefully get some rest.

"You should get some rest you look like you have forgotten what sleep is." I say with a faint smile hoping she knows I'm only partly messing with her.

Piper hadn't been gone for possibly two minutes before Alex is walking into my kitchen. "Hey Red, what's up?" Well I have to give her credit she is nothing if not consistent.

"You know every time you come in here you always start off the conversation the same way. Why not just get straight to the point?" I ask as I give everybody in the kitchen their jobs to get started on lunch.

"Fine, what did you and Piper talk about today?" Alex asks as she gets to the real reason she stopped by.

"She's getting assigned a bunk today and getting her beige uniform which she's excited about." I'm trying to decide if I should tell Alex about what Piper told me about her parents. I know they were together for a while I wonder how much she knows.

"Well that's good. I hope she gets bunked with somebody from the family." I must give her credit she doesn't care how small the information is she is more than happy to listen when Piper is involved.

"What do you know about her parents?" I ask as I grab some carrots and start chopping them up. Hopefully Alex will be able to file in more information.

"I know her mother is a wasp so they never really got along, and they especially don't get along now because she doesn't agree with some of her choices. I also know that she's really close to her father because it was usual them against her mother. Her brother Cal would always stay out of her way until he was old enough to move out, but that never really bothered Piper because she's a huge daddy's girl. Why do you ask?" Alex says as she looks at me confused by my semi random question.

"It's just something she said to me today." I know I'm being vague, but I don't want to betray Piper's trust.

"Are you going to tell me what she said to make you ask that?" Alex asks as she looks at me expectantly.

"Before I do I want to make it crystal clear that anything that Piper tells me and I tell you can never make it back to her. I just got her to open up about something and we are making very little process, but still process none the less. I don't want you ruining that understood?" I say as I look at Alex head on making myself extremely clear.

"I just want to help her in any way I can. I love her you know that. If I can help you help her than I'm going to need you to tell me." Alex says with so much pure honestly that I have no choice but to believe her, and she does have a point she could help me get Piper to open up.

"Her father stopped talking to her a little while ago. She's not even sure if he knows that she's here unless her brother told him." I see concern flash across Alex's face.

"You need to find out about her grandma, Celeste. Piper loves her dad, but her grandma is her heart. Although you should still work to try and figure out why her father won't talk to her, and I'll see what I can find out on my end." Alex says as she starts to leave, but I quickly stop her.

"Wait, what does Piper like to eat when she's sad? I told her I was going to make her something tonight instead of her typical sandwich." If anybody would know what to make to hopefully finally get Piper to smile.

"Stick to something simple. Piper is a girl who likes the finer things in life, but when she's sad or depressed just stick to something like chicken noodle soup. She's a giant puzzle that just when you think you have it figured out she adds more pieces." I'm glad I have Alex helping me because I never would have figured that out.

"Okay thank you for your assistance. Also tell the family that we need to have a meeting tonight." I say as I watch her nod at me before leaving to do whatever it is that she does.

If I plan to get Piper to open then she's going to need family, and since I don't know her actually family then we're going to give her the next best thing. I just need to make sure that everybody is aware of what I'm planning.

 **A/N 2:** Okay so I know the story is starting out a little slow, but I promise that I'll start picking up with more Nicky, Lorna, etc. Just getting some of the frame work down.


	6. Sherlock & Watson

**I don't own Orange is the New Black. Why do I say this every chapter? Because I wish I did dammit! It would be awesome!**

 **Surprise! I'm back after my really long exit. I still have no clue where exactly I'll be going with this story, but hey if y'all up for the journey we can figure it out together. Well that's a lie I know there are certain scenes I want to be in the story I just have to build the story around those scenes, but I'll figure it out one way or another. Also please don't forget this story is AU so obviously characters and their personalities are going to be different.**

 **Alex's P.O.V.**

After my talk with Red I head back towards my bunk and see Nicky sitting on my bed waiting for me. "Is there something I can help you with Nicky or have you just been dying for some one on one time with me?" I tease as I take a seat next to her.

"As charming as you are Vause we both know we aren't each other's type though the hair color is close in your case." She says with her usual sarcastic tone. "Actually I'm here to check and see how you've been doing. I know you're worried about Chapman, and having Red gather dirt for you." I should have known Red would tell Nicky of all people.

"Honestly I would feel better if she would just talk to me, but I realize now that more is going on then I thought. Red has been able to confirm some of my fears, but of course there aren't any details that will actually help me. I just…...I need to know what happened to her. The woman in this prison isn't the Piper I know and still love. I think it might have something to do with her family though, or at least a part it does." I sigh as I move to lie down resting my head on Nicky's lap. If anybody would understand how hard being in Piper's family would be it would be Nicky. Her mother's a WASP too.

"At least you have a starting point, and you know that I'm always here to talk. If you like I can try befriending Piper and see if I can find anything out." Oh how much I want to jump at that offer…..

"You don't even understand how badly I want to say yes to that, but I don't want Piper to feel like I'm trying to manipulate her into talking to me." I'm probably putting way too much thought into this. I should be jumping at the chance to get as much information as I can from anybody who can get it since she refuses to even acknowledge my existence at this point.

"Okay how about we put it like this. From what I've heard about Chapman's had pretty much the same shitty childhood that I did. That means she could really use some real friends and what better way than to bring her into the family?" I can tell that Nicky's been thinking about this for a while, but she's trying to play it off. If that's how to wants this to go then who am I to try and deny her.

"If that's what you want then you can try being Piper's friend, but you should talk to Red first because from what I hear that's not going to be an easy task. Piper isn't as trusting as I remember her being." I sigh as I feel Nicky run her fingers through my hair gently. It makes me think back to when Piper used to do that and it makes me miss her even more. She was always so gentle and sometimes she would scratch her nails along my scalp. I don't know why but it always made me feel so loved.

"I'm sure I can figure it out for myself. Now back to why I'm here. What are you up to now? And don't you dare saying nothing. I was watching you when you walked up and you had your determined face on." I smile as I look up and see Nicky imitating my face.

"I just got done talking with Red and I was going to figure out how to find out about Piper's family, more specifically her grandma, Celeste. Piper told Red she hasn't talked to her family in a while which isn't uncommon, but Piper is a daddy's girl and her grandma is like her heart so her not talking to either of them is extremely unusual." I watch Nicky nod silently as she listens.

"That's a good plan except for the fact that you don't know how to get in contact with any of her family members." Leave it to Nicky to point out the one fatal flaw in my plan.

"I was relying on having at least one good contact left to call. I don't know Nicky. I just feel like I at least have to try. You've seen Piper she looks like she's been through hell and I feel like it's my fault." I move to sit up.

"Vause, you said it yourself, she left you in Paris after your mom died. I fail to see how any of this is you fault." Nicky has a good point, but still something just doesn't feel right.

"I know, but even then something just didn't feel right. Something in Piper's eyes when she left still haunts me to this day. This might just be wishful thinking, but I think there's more to the story of why Piper left when she did." I can see in Nicky's eyes that she doesn't believe me.

"So you're basically saying somebody forced her to go? If so who and why? I'm sorry Vause, but you're right that does sound like wishful thinking on your part." I knew she was going to say that, but regardless I know what I feel and something definitely feels wrong.

"I don't have answers to your questions right now, but I'm determined to figure out what the fuck happened to Piper." I'm nothing if not stubborn and I'm going to find out what happened to Piper even if it kills me.

"Okay, okay before you turn into Sherlock Holmes you have to remember you don't have much to go on besides a gut instinct which won't get you far. Let Red work her magic and let me see what I can get out of her. I hear that she's being put on work detail in maintenance. That'll give me a way in to try and get her talking." This is why I love Nicky.

"If I'm Sherlock does that make you Watson?" I ask with a cheeky smile causing Nicky to roll her eyes at me.

"We're not solving murder mysteries Vause, okay? We're just trying to figure out what's wrong with your girl so you can win her back or whatever it is you're trying to do." She says as she punches my shoulder as she moves to stand up. "Well I'm off to be anywhere but here. Try not to think too hard and hurt yourself Sherlock." Nicky walks away laughing at her own joke like a true nerd.

I watch her turn the corner before I flop back on my bed sighing deeply. These last couple of days have been exhausting. I wish I could just force Piper to talk to me, but I know that would only cause her to close up even more. Why must life always be so complicated? Why is Piper fighting so hard to shut me out?

I close my eyes and allow my mind to wander back to when I first met Piper. She was always so bubbly and just the right amount of WASP-y. It was the sexiest combination I had ever bared witness too. She was pretty much the exact opposite of me and that's what made her even more attractive. She was the yang to my yin and our relationship was almost perfect minus the whole drug trafficking thing. Of course I had to screw things up by putting work before Piper. She deserved so much more than I ever gave her, but damn if I don't still love that woman.

I sigh deeply as I sit up again as rest my back against the wall by my bed. I look around feeling lost with all these emotions that I can't actually express to Piper since she won't talk to me. So I decide to do the next best thing. I grab a few sheets of blank paper I keep in my room a pen and a book to use as a board.

 _Hey Kid,_

 _I'm writing this knowing full well that the chances of you ever reading it are pretty much nonexistent, but I need you to know that no matter what's happened between us I still love you more than I could express on this one letter. Every time I look at you my heart beats faster and my palms start to sweat. Just looking at you or thinking about you brings a dorky smile to my face. We both know that I only come off as being calm, cool and collected, but deep down I'm nothing but a scared little girl. I've never allowed anybody to see that part of me but you. You always made me feel safe enough to be vulnerable, and I can't thank you enough for that._

 _I realize that I'm several years too late, but I still want you to know that I'm so sorry. I never should have made you carry that money for me. I never should have put my damn job before your safety. Even now I still couldn't put you above my own selfish needs. I never should have ratted you out, but it was my only chance of seeing you again and I couldn't pass that chance up. I should have been the person you wanted me to be all those years, but I was stupid. I fully understand what people mean when they say that you never truly know what you have until it's gone. With that being said why won't you allow me to be the person you need now?_

 _I've never really been a spiritual person and I don't ever really remember praying to God for anything except once. The day that you left me in Paris I prayed to God and asked him to bring you back into my life just one more time. That's all I needed to get my shit together and get it right. I honestly didn't think he was listening, but the day I saw you walk in with your orange jumpsuit two weeks ago I realized that he was in fact listening to me loud and clear. So whether you like it or not I'm going to honor that deal I made with God. I'm not going to allow you to slip through my fingers a second time around._

 _I know you've been hurt and I wish you would just talk to me, but I realize that that's asking a lot of you right now. I won't sit here and pretend to know what you've been through since we last saw each other, but whatever it was just know that with my dying breathe I will protect you from whoever hurt you. All I need you to do is tell me who it is. You and I both know I've always been very protective of you. I realize some of our past history isn't much of a testament, but since we've been apart I've done a lot of growing up and done a lot of soul searching as well._

 _I want you to know that I don't believe in my heart that you left me in Paris after my mother on your own. Something about it just doesn't feel right to me, and you forget I know you. No matter how mad you could have been at me you're not that cold hearted. You never have been and you never will be. I know about the bruises and the nightmares…...I'm going to get you to talk to me Piper one way or another. I refuse to give up on you. I was stupid to do it the first time, but never again._

 _Really I've said all of that to say this. Mark my words Piper Elizabeth Chapman that come hell or high water I will marry you someday if I have it my way. We both know how stubborn I can be when I want something._

 _Forever Yours,_

 _Al_

I sigh in relief as I feel as though a weight has temporarily been lifted off my shoulders as I fold the note and hide it in the cover of one of my books. The last thing I need is for somebody to find it and think I'm a sap. I still have a reputation to uphold while I'm in here. I stand up and make sure all my supplies are put away before I head off towards the rec room to try and occupy myself. I have to trust that Red and Nicky will be able to come through with more information before I try to intervene my own way.

 **Okay so I realize this chapter is kinda short, but I needed it to get back into this story plus it laid some of the ground work for some of the things I've kinda been planning for future chapters. I still don't quite know where I'm going with all of this, but just stick with me and I promise it'll get better. Let me know what y'all think.**


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